Thursday, March 19, 2015

Self Reflection

I cannot believe how crazy and fast life can change in a second. It seems like only yesterday I was in my safe and secure little hometown on the far East Coast of Canada, looking out the window of one of my last nursing classes and pondering, what will my life be life once I'm outside of these walls?

Well, can I just say, that was THREE years ago!

In just three short years, I have lived in three different towns and had three different addresses. I have said "I love you" to three different guys, and have had three different jobs. In 2013 (yes, that is another three), I purchased my first car.

I have seen friends get married, have babies, watched love ones pass, drift away from old friends, and form lasting bonds with new friends.

I have had my heart broken, made mistakes, had good laughs, loved with all my heart, and had to let some people go. 

It's the hardest thing in the world to be so far from all that I know and am comfortable with and the biggest challenge I have ever had to endure. It's hard to believe that after 24 years in one beautiful city, I packed up everything I owned to move to the centre of Canada on the Prairies and haven't looked back since. There's been times where I have been trailed and tempted and wanted to thrown in the towel and run back to my security in Newfoundland. But God tells us that we can never find happiness in a place, person or thing. We find it through him.

I moved to Saskatchewan to change my life. To develop a closer relationship with God and to mature deeper as a person. I have learned so much about myself and the world by being so far from home that I never would have discovered had I continued to stay back home. 

I have no idea what I am doing or what even I am supposed to do. I feel like I am constantly just living life by the seat of my pants and relying on nobody but God in faith that I am making the right decision with my life to stay here. It is more than challenging when I see how happy and comfortable I could be in the peace of my own hometown, family and familiar friends. But I know God has called me for more than that and the fact that I have made it thus far in three years means, heck, I could even do it for another three! And even if, at the end of the day, I feel it is my time to go home, I have completed my goal of changing for the better as a person. That being said, God ain't finished with me in Saskatchewan. My soul knows it for sure ;) 

So, three years in, maybe another 3 to go? Or 1? Or 30? Or life!?

Who even knows and who cares. JC, you've got this, no matter what state I gets' myself in! 






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