The start of something new.

Tomorrow is a very big day for me.

October 23rd holds no real significance or importance to me, but it is the day I plan to and WILL start something that has been on my mind and heart for years.

I will be starting a youtube channel.

Okay, I already have two youtube accounts which I use interchangeably. The first account, I made back in 2008 to that I could gain access to watch videos. At the time, I was just starting nursing school and volunteered my time with my on campus Christian group as the worship leader. I loved singing and loved watching people cover different versions of my favourite songs. I was also super intrigued by the idea of "v-logging" (or video blogging), where people vocalized their day-to-day lives through the lens of a video camera. I even created a few of my own videos of me singing. They were terribly amateur and I had absolutely NO editing skills. But it was the spark which started this idea of becoming seriously involved with youtube. Over the years, I've followed almost a 100 different youtubers and feel as connected to their lives as if they were my own friends. They have inspired me and helped me grow as a person. In 2013, a video tag trend went around called "Draw my life". You tubers from all over would "tag" each other to draw their "story" of their life and how they came to be involved with youtube. I thought, hey! If they could do this, why can't I? In 2014, at the peak of my anxiety and depression, I used my last bit of savings money to purchase a recording mic. I started recording covers of songs with the help of Garage band on my Macbook, to create accapella versions that sounded professional and I could feel confident enough to post on youtube. I received a significant amount of positive feedback to which I felt confident enough that, yeah! I can DO this!

Since feeling the best I ever have in my entire life and really feeling like I've finally found happiness, I just want to share that with everyone I know. It's a bright and beautiful glow that burns inside that I cannot contain. People think that happiness comes from a nice house, a handsome boyfriend, or good grades. While all those things are GREAT, they aren't what can keep you happy. I want people to know my story. I want people to know and see that complete happiness and joy is every bit possible even in the most bleak of situations. I want to give people advice on how to make their lives better. I know that I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. But that being said, my medical background in nursing will certainly be of benefit and give me the credentials for people to take me seriously.

I have been praying for this for SO LONG.

God, you are going to make this possible for me. My soul knows it well! :)

I'll keep you all posted how this new project of mine goes. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Until then,

God bless!

XOXO
-E

Don't Worry, Be Happy :)

I feel like as much as a struggle happiness has been to achieve for me personally, I seem to have no problem trying to spread it everywhere I go into the lives of others.

My name (first and middle) literally translates to "Gift of Joy". Also, my first real sentence, according to my mom, was "Don't worry, be happy" - I'm pretty sure the Bobby McFerrin song being ever so popular the year I was born (1988) must of had something to do with it! ;)

I wish I could say that I could feel the happiness that I want and hope I emit, but my moods have been really up and down. In late January, I started experiencing panic attacks and major anxiety to the point I couldn't sleep or concentrate at work. I knew I was doing practically everything in my power to keep a healthy mind and body, but sometimes, it's completely out of your control and you need medical intervention to help. I went to my family doctor and explained to him what was going on. He felt it was necessary at that point for me to go on a combination drug for both my anxiety and depression. Right now, I am taking the lowest dose of Effexor. It has been a little over a month since starting the medication and I have been feeling great. I know I won't be on this medication forever, but it helps me for now to cope and live a normal life.

I have tons and tons to look forward to. My momma comes to visit me here in Saskatchewan at the end of this month. I celebrate my 27th birthday next month where my boyfriend and I will be spending the weekend in Edmonton, doing lots of shopping at the West Ed Mall, going on the amusement park rides,  checking out the water park and spending time with my two little cousins (Sarah & Allie) and two great friends (Amy & Janessa). THEN, I go to see an Ed Sheeran concert in June for my best friend, Janessa's birthday in Saskatoon with a group of friends. Finally, in July, I fly back home to Newfieland to see all my family and friends and pick up half my heart that I left there :) There, I will be singing at my friend Nicole's wedding, who I've grown up with and known since Kindergarden. At the end of THAT trip, I get to spend my last few days of summer vacation in Montreal for the Osheaga Music Festival with my friends Heather, Erin, Kandace and Amanda. Life is good and I am blessed :)


There's always a reason to be happy! Keep smiling :)

XOXO
-E

Self Reflection

I cannot believe how crazy and fast life can change in a second. It seems like only yesterday I was in my safe and secure little hometown on the far East Coast of Canada, looking out the window of one of my last nursing classes and pondering, what will my life be life once I'm outside of these walls?

Well, can I just say, that was THREE years ago!

In just three short years, I have lived in three different towns and had three different addresses. I have said "I love you" to three different guys, and have had three different jobs. In 2013 (yes, that is another three), I purchased my first car.

I have seen friends get married, have babies, watched love ones pass, drift away from old friends, and form lasting bonds with new friends.

I have had my heart broken, made mistakes, had good laughs, loved with all my heart, and had to let some people go. 

It's the hardest thing in the world to be so far from all that I know and am comfortable with and the biggest challenge I have ever had to endure. It's hard to believe that after 24 years in one beautiful city, I packed up everything I owned to move to the centre of Canada on the Prairies and haven't looked back since. There's been times where I have been trailed and tempted and wanted to thrown in the towel and run back to my security in Newfoundland. But God tells us that we can never find happiness in a place, person or thing. We find it through him.

I moved to Saskatchewan to change my life. To develop a closer relationship with God and to mature deeper as a person. I have learned so much about myself and the world by being so far from home that I never would have discovered had I continued to stay back home. 

I have no idea what I am doing or what even I am supposed to do. I feel like I am constantly just living life by the seat of my pants and relying on nobody but God in faith that I am making the right decision with my life to stay here. It is more than challenging when I see how happy and comfortable I could be in the peace of my own hometown, family and familiar friends. But I know God has called me for more than that and the fact that I have made it thus far in three years means, heck, I could even do it for another three! And even if, at the end of the day, I feel it is my time to go home, I have completed my goal of changing for the better as a person. That being said, God ain't finished with me in Saskatchewan. My soul knows it for sure ;) 

So, three years in, maybe another 3 to go? Or 1? Or 30? Or life!?

Who even knows and who cares. JC, you've got this, no matter what state I gets' myself in! 

My Favorite Things.

 

I always LOVED the Sound of Music from a super young age. It's so wholesome with such a beautiful story and phenomenol music score.  I have acted in musicals since my preteen years, but unfortunately never had the opportunity to be in this one :(.

One of my "favorite" songs in the musical is My Favorite Things, in which Julie Andrews sings to the children in the movie to calm them during a thunder storm. As simple as a notion it is, it really does help to think about and do your favourite things, especially during stress, anxiety and times of depression, in order to help you cope and deal with the realities of life.

The past few months have brought me a lot of transition so I decided to make a list of things which truly bring me joy and comfort. Some things I list are things that everyone can agree on, but other things are only unique to me and people may find strange and odd. But if it makes you happy and it isn't really hurting you or anyone else, do it!

E's List of Favorite Things:

1. Music festivals, outdoor shows and concerts. Any form of live music, really!

2. Bubble baths with wine and kraft dinner

3. Walking trails

4. Outdoor skating rinks

5. Recording music

6. Foreign films 

7. Watching on-stage performances of musicals, plays, or operas

8. Supper parties

9. Local, indie restaurants and coffee shops

10. Farmers' markets

11. Target

12. Long road trips where I get to sing loud music at the top of my lungs

13. Scented candles

14. Fresh flowers in the window

15. Brightly coloured home decor

16. Back rubs

17. Green tea

18. Art galleries

19. Disney movies

20. Super clean kitchens and bathrooms

21. Airplane rides

22. Neon-colored stationary

23. Thrift stores or pon shops

24. Nintendo 64

25. Listening to jazz music while I clean

26. Anything pink

27. Cupcakes

28. Katy Perry (she is my #wcw)

29. The Barbie section in any department store

30. Bunnies

31. Mint chocolate

32. Local beer from my hometown 

33. Popping bubble wrap

34. Taco salads

35. Grilled cheese sandwiches

36. Not wearing underwear

37. Lazy, rainy spring Sundays

38. Being snowed in with a movie and pizza

39. Eating pancakes without a knife

40. Hipsters

41. My birthday

42. Ikea

43. Kettle-cooked popcorn

44. Newfie poutine (that's fries, gravy, cheese - not curds, and dressing!)

45. Sweatpants

46. Beach bonfires

47. Sparkly Christmas ornaments

48. Rocky Horror Picture Show 

49. Michael Buble

50. Taking a Friday off to be lazy and watch "Friday Bride Day" on TLC

51. Singing harmony

52. Feeding ducks

53. Calamari

54. Red wine sangrias

55. Polka dots

56. Goldfish crackers

57. Cupcake shops

58. Bulk Barn

59. Wearing boots with dresses

60. Hikes

61. Wine gums

62. Vinyl record players

63. Board games (I am a Scattergories champion!)

64. All the Star Wars movies

65. Homemade quilts

66. Pug dogs

67. Ladybugs

68. Space heaters

69. Patterned leggings

70. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (my #mcm)

71. Homemade pizza

72. Amusement parks

73. Glow-sticks

74. Drinking juice from the carton

75. Wearing socks to bed

76. Rainbows

77. Justin Timberlake

78. Re-runs of Saved by the Bell

79. Auditions

80. Girls' nights in or out

81. Making a smoothie in the morning before work

82. Donkeys

83. Dolls that smell like fruit or sweet things

84. Theme parties

85. Sushi

86. Photo scavenger hunts

87. Greek yogurt

88. Nacho-flavored cheetos 

89. Newfie music

90. EDM

91. Fireworks

92. Big cities

93. Collecting art, crafts or jewelry made by my friends

94. Easter eggs

95. Group or couple Halloween costumes

96. Tea tree oil

97. Mummering

98. Flip flops

99. Indian/Native-inspired clothing and jewelry

100. Neon-colored or fun printed bibles

:)

New Year, New Me.

Hello Internet lovelies!

Welcome to my new blog :) . I used my fashionfoleysandfflats blog for the past 4 years and I absolutely love the freedom I have to write and express myself and just be completely real. I decided to start a whole new blog because I wanted a change. It's a brand new year, and I've had a lot of transition in my life lately. Change can be stressful and challenging on times as you learn to adapt to a new routine, way of thinking and lifestyle. But change is needed to help you become a better person. No personal growth can ever occur unless you are willing to change your old ways and habits. Just like the Sheryl Crow song, a little change will do you good!

If you have read my past blog posts on my other account or know anything about me, you would know that I am an extreme girly girl who gets happy over simple and jovial things and I am a true child at heart.  I also ironically struggle with mental illness and have been diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. It's a challenge to find that balance, but I also attribute my success in life so far by my immense faith and deep relationship with God. I am by no means perfect, but my faith in Jesus is the one thing that never fails to keep me sane and cope through my sad and fearful times with this illness.

Normally, people make a list of resolutions at the start of each new year. A list of things they want to do, improve on or change. I used to do that each and every year, but this year, I decided to just let life happen. You never know what God has in store for you, and basically, I just want to be the best version of myself and be happy - the whole reason behind the title of this blog.

One thing that is key to being happy is discovering who you are and being real with the world. In this lifetime, there's going to be a thousand people who love and adore you. But on the contrary, a thousand other people will despise you, sometimes for absolutely no reason. I used to struggle with always trying to please everyone and try to make everyone happy. But the truth is, you can't. It is literally impossible to make everyone happy, no matter how nice or great you are. Tay Swift wasn't lying when she sings, the haters gonna hate.

The main thing is to try to do everything in your power to be happy with yourself.

Happy 2015, everyone!

xo

-E